12 time zones away: Maine and China

It's great, but not necessarily easy being back in America. I find myself incredibly sensitive to the white noise of conversations happening around me, having been away I feel like I've missed out on a lot, and now Katy is back in China. Just because I'm back doesn't mean there's peace and quiet though. Since coming home I've been to Adirondacks State Park, Boston, Acadia National Park, a wedding in Maine and of course the city.

Katy and I climbed short mountains in Acadia National Park

My travel-crazy wife Katy jumped 12 time zones, twice, in 10 days. When I went back and forth from China to the US in May I at least had about a month to adjust before making the trip back. Katy did it in under two weeks and managed to do so without being TOO jet-lagged on either end. It was great to see her stateside but now we're long distance again. I am incredibly thankful that we have cell phones and international SIM cards, but if one of us doesn't wake up in time (usually me) or goes to bed too early (usually Katy) then we don't get to talk to each other for another twelve hours. That makes me feel like we are on the other side of the world from one another which, of course, we are.

My jet-lagged wife tired at a wedding

When talking to someone 12 hours away is that you're either saying good night when you're waking up, or good morning as you're falling asleep. It's not always a different day of the week, but half of the time it is. It feels like an exercise in empathy, because I'm always forced to imagine what type of day/experience Katy is currently having. Whether she's tired, hungry, excited or just waking up and drowsy, basically I have to guess/figure out where she's coming from every time we talk. This is probably good practice for married life, but is definitely challenging. Now that I'm back, I also have to re-understand intellectually the difficulties Katy might still having living abroad because I already feel removed from them. I feel like I've come back from China and left the experience behind me. If I was tired from being in China, I'm refreshed. While I know Shanghai is still there, it is very much out of sight and out of mind (except when I talk to Katy).

The New York skyline from Brooklyn Heights promenade

I do feel like my repatriation process is going well, being in familiar places (home), with familiar people (friends and family), and doing regular summer activities makes me feel as grounded and stable as I have in over a year. Buying a New York Times and a real bagel while walking the streets of the Big Apple had a profoundly de-stressing effect on my body. I could feel the calm wash over me and knew it was caused by the smell of the fresh bagel and feel of the newsprint, real sensations of home, comfort and familiarity.

I'm pretty sure that's a bat box atop the street light on Manhattan's West Side bike path

Of course I am definitely looking forward to being back in our home in the Pacific Northwest, but the East Coast is a great place to re-acclimate to this clean and democratic air in America. While the days are long and the ocean water is warm I'll be hanging out with my family by the beach before heading back to Oregon in time for Total Solar Eclipse 2017. If you have the chance to watch it do so: we won't get another one in America until 2045. Happy summertime everyone!

Back from (not) Studying abroad in Shanghai

Buddhist shrine in Zhangjiajie National Park: home of the Avatar mountains

I didn't make it back to the good ol' U. S. of A. until after July 4th, but it was still nice landing back on native soil. Landing in Newark Airport was nice, I had a window seat and saw Metlife Stadium (where the Giants play) from a very cool angle. Then ate my momma's cooking - which is always the best - and saw a few friends. The best part of being home in NYC was the walking. I had spent a lot of time walking around Shanghai, exploring or just walking in the park for exercise, but walking around New York felt different, different even from how I had remembered it. First off the streets felt somewhat empty. They may have felt empty because it was still a holiday week, but I think they just felt empty compared to the bustling streets of Shanghai. Secondly was that I always knew where I was; it's a big city but I've been all around it and very few places in the city feel foreign to me. Most enjoyable though, was the diversity. The racial, religious and cultural diversity of New York City is something I used to take for granted when I was young. As I went away to college and spent time living in Boston I realized that diversity of cultures was part of my education growing up: meeting people from different walks of life, different countries and different social outlooks is great, and being back in New York was great for that reason.

Unrelated but a dragonfly alit on my father's shoulder walking around NYC

After a few days in NYC with my family, I set off on the beginning of my last leg of our summer adventures. I was solo, Katy was still working in Shanghai, so I picked up a rental car in Connecticut en route to the Adirondacks in upstate New York. There I stopped by a local butcher shop on the way to meet up with a great friend, then spent two days hiking, kayaking and eating great, local, fresh, American food. It was a great way to reset the body from urban life and convene with nature (as well as familiar food). Oh, and I used Google Maps to direct me the entire time I was driving, even though I pretty much knew where I was going, because it was a way of expressing my freedom. You may remember I mentioned how Google is off-limits in China. For no other reason than to appreciate Google better, I recommend spending some time in China.

           

From the Adirondacks I drove to Boston and stayed with a different friend. As I continued to acclimate to America, it was nice to have a chance to talk to someone about my experience who understood. Mike spent five years living and working in Asia after college and he helped me decompress some of the feelings I had, as well as help me realize some feelings I hadn't even realized I had been experiencing. It's not that life was hard in Shanghai, if anything I had more free time than I ever have had before, but it was socially isolating. Being Caucasian in Asia definitely comes with white privilege that I didn't expect, but I also felt like an outsider regularly. The Chinese word for Caucasians is "laowai" which roughly translates to "foreigner." As an identifiable foreigner no one expected me to speak Mandarin, which was nice because I never learned, but I also realized how I stood out of any crowd (the long hair didn't help). Basically the hardest thing was the over-stimulation and lack of predictable interactions. Little things bothered me: they don't say anything when you sneeze in China. It always seemed weird that no one ever said "excuse me," when they burped, or "bless you" when someone else sneezed. It's just not a part of their culture, but it made me reconsider our cultural norms.

The Bud Light of China

Now I'm back in America for good, but Katy still has another six weeks in Shanghai for work. She's jet-lagged pretty bad right now (and likely will be until even after she gets back) but I'm mostly on the right sleep schedule. It's probably not quite the same as acclimating to altitude, but after a week and a half I still t feel like my body is giving me bad clues. I heard somewhere, albeit it not from a scientist, that it takes one day per time zone that you change. Considering I was 12 time zones away I guess it makes sense that I'm not quite acclimated to the time here yet. Adjusting to the sun is probably not as big a deal as I expected it to be, while switching cultures is probably a bigger deal than I expected it to be. While I haven't had any perceived issues with Western culture, occasionally when I'm out walking on a busy street I feel overwhelmed by the number of conversations I overhear. Shortly before we left Katy and I had our anniversary dinner at a restaurant but were surrounded by English-speakers. It was terribly distracting for both of us, as we had gotten used to only hearing Mandarin spoken in public places. It's easy to ignore the conversations around you if you can't even understand the sounds people are using as words. Now there's a cacophony of sounds I recognize and I'm still getting used to it.

Being back with an appreciation of the other side of the world, their culture, social behaviors and mannerisms, is profoundly more rewarding than I ever thought it would be. When I studied abroad in Stockholm, Sweden in 2008 I was fortunate enough to visit almost a dozen European countries and soak in their culture. All over Europe I was surprised by the juxtaposition of English fluency and deep-seeded sense of tradition, culture and nationalism. Now that I'm back from China, I am starting to view America through a different, but equally eye-opening, lens. Shanghaiese people seemed to embrace Western luxuries while eschewing many Western principles. To be fair, I didn't get to wander the Chinese countryside by bicycle (as one of my few Chinese friends professed a love for) but I did get to spend a lot of time closely examining how urban Shanghai operates. Over 80 percent of Americans live in cities and 50 percent of Chinese live in cities. The urban organization and efficiency of Shanghai was overwhelmingly impressive. While New York City is efficient, it's nothing compared to Shanghai.

While almost all of Chinese culture is significantly older than American culture, often thousands of years older, New York City has had a Western influence for over 200 years before Shanghai ever did (1624 vs. the 1860s). The number of building cranes in Shanghai is overwhelming. Construction continues at an unabated pace that seems unsustainable, while also highly organized and efficient. While I heard about the ghost cities of China, I didn't get a chance to visit any. These cities were built in anticipation of a workforce that never materialized in the area. As such there are fully built cities that are capable of holding millions of people that are barely even populated. Under our capitalist decentralized system of government and resource allocation, a ghost city could never materialize in America the same way they have in China. However, the rigid urban planning, use of eminent domain, and ability to rapidly adapt is only possible in China's top down system of political, social and monetary organization. Being back now it's hard to say which is better - although it was/is interesting to observe and speculate about what public works programs would be possible in either system. A quick example is that Shanghai has built almost 400 subway stations since 1993, while New York City started building in 1900 and have just under 500 subway stations. While it's possible, I find it highly unlikely that New York City could have developed an additional 400 subway stations in the past 25 years even if there had been demand for it. Quick example: in NYC the 2nd Avenue subway just opened this year, 2017, but began construction in 1919.

While I'm thankful for the experience I've had, I'm also thankful to be home. It's kind of nice that I ended my time in Shanghai and jumped right into summer vacation. While it's been awhile since I've been in school, this seemed like an adult semester abroad for me and I expect I'll be a better person for it. I'm currently in Maine for a week with my in-laws, and then headed to a wedding. After which Katy will return to Shanghai to finish her work and I will still be on summer vacation (lucky me!). There isn't a whole lot I would change about my experience in Shanghai, but considering how much the time has impacted me, I feel lucky I had the chance to spend as much time as I did living and traveling in Asia. Just like studying abroad was a once in a lifetime chance, so was the time we spent in Shanghai. That being said, I am greatly looking forward to working the wine harvest season back in Oregon, planting some stuff in our garden, and making friends for life.

G-d bless America

Local Shanghaiese (feed cats in parks)

I didn't think I would feel the need to spend my last 24 hours in Shanghai doing the rounds and saying goodbye to the people and places I got to know while I was here. As a New Yorker who grew up in Manhattan, I took for granted the routines I developed. I used to buy a bagel with butter at the bodega on my block on my way to school. I did it so regularly that they used to have it sitting by the register ready for me every morning, and would let me cut the line to pay; the candy store owner always knew I wanted Twix; the guy at Subway had my sandwich memorized. I was a creature of habit, but I never quite knew what to make of these relationships. They were little parts of my life, just business as usual, and yet I still look back on them fondly. The last thing I ever expected was to develop similar habits in China.

A view from our 32nd Story apartment window

Being in Shanghai has been tough. At first it was tough because I was comparing everything I experienced to a New York equivalent - or at least I was trying to understand Shanghai in terms of New York. Then I went to New York a few weeks ago and when I came back to Shanghai I realized it's just a different place. It is also a bustling city with fashion and tourism like New York: our neighborhood in Shanghai feels in many ways like the ritziest parts of Manhattan. Busy, bustling streets filled with tourists and shoppers, side streets dominated by locals, and the occasional park where people get a respite from the hustle and bustle. Other than the language and demographics what could be different?

Just some guys moving stuff around Shanghai by scooter, no big deal

Most people don't know but I spent two college summers working as a doorman on Park Avenue in New York City. For no other reason than that, I never wanted to live in a building with a doorman. Being a New Yorker, being class sensitive, and frankly just not enjoying the interaction, I purposely avoided living as so until now. There was no choice when we came to Shanghai, there were very few housing options and they all involved doormen. It has felt a little like a hotel to me with a concierge, athletic facilities and restaurant (have I mentioned we literally live above a mall!), but I have gotten friendly with a few of the doormen here. There are two in particular who I always share a big smile with. Maybe it's my long hair, relaxed attitude, or the occasional commiserating eye roll that they appreciate. Either way, it's been surprising that I could get used to a situation I had spent a long time avoiding: I guess Shanghai has changed me a little.

A scale model of Shanghai at the Urban Planning Museum

Katy and I have visited, and previously wrote about, a bottle shop called "Much Beer" here in Shanghai. It is located on a quiet street that doesn't get much foot traffic and is filled with beautiful trees and a seemingly authentic Shanghaiese feel. Scooters are parked on the sidewalk, the elderly sit on folding chairs on the curb, occasionally kids can be seen playing down alleyways, in short neighbors seem to be intertwined in each others' lives. Much Beer is a store that sells brews from back home and plays poppy American music on the radio. The shopkeeper quickly remembered me and over the course of a dozen or so visits we exchanged many communications via Baidu translate. I told him he had a beautiful shop, he told me about his favorite beers, and we shared snippets of information about each other. One time I went in to buy Katy a six-pack of her favorite beer. He wasn't working, but when I saw him next I told him about my past visit and he said he had suspected that I was the one who had bought the six pack. I never had the heart to tell him that he had a misspelling on his front door, which featured various "Ales and Largers".

Bathroom artwork at the bottle shop named: "Much Beer"

Down the street from Much Beer is a store called Flower Talk. I would often stop in after visiting Much Beer and buy Katy an assorted bouquet of flowers. While American IPAs aren't cheap, the flowers certainly are. There I quickly became friendly with the husband and wife owners. The novelty of seeing a laowai (similar to gringo) may have scared off some shopkeepers, but not this one. He spoke English on a better level than my Spanish, although he constantly apologized for not remembering more of his high school English. We communicated well and had some nice conversations, sometimes with the assistance of Baidu translate but often through his mental sweat and my confirmations. When I told him today that I was leaving Shanghai, he refused to let me pay for the flowers I was trying to purchase. To me it was an obscenely generous gesture and I tried to refuse it. Many shopkeepers in Shanghai live in the backroom or above the shop where they sell. At Flower Talk, however, only a curtain separates the living space from the business space. I tried my best to express gratitude and told him I hope we see each other again some day.

Some random art I liked

The air quality in Shanghai is bad. Not as bad as Beijing, but so bad that I can tell just by breathing when the air quality is better or worse. Katy and I regularly marvel at the few joggers we see puttering past. We have to remind ourselves that it's impossible for them to become runners, it hurts the lungs and might be dangerous to their health to exercise outdoors. On the iPhone Weather App there is an extra line at the bottom for Air Quality Index, and sometimes it reads: "Dangerous for Sensitive Groups". So instead of my regular running, I have adopted a walking routine. Since I'm not working but crave being outdoors (as well as the runner's high), I eventually worked up to two hours a day, which is a lot of time for people watching. My favorite loop is in Fuxing Park (pronounced fu-ching, not that dirty word you were thinking). The loop in Fuxing Park is around a third of a mile so in two hours I get over 20 loops in. There are many regular walkers I see multiple times per week: one man who walks faster than me sweats through his dress shirt for over an hour each day, he doesn't like eye contact; another woman seems to live in the park, she is almost always there regardless of what time I am walking; I recognize all of the policemen and many of the people doing park maintenance, and many recognize me. At lunchtime a few hundred people come to the park to walk around, some I have seen often, but many are not regulars. The majority of regulars are also my favorite people to watch: those who come to feed the cats.

Pizza and cats

I have never seen a single mouse or rat in this park,but hardly a day goes by when I don't see multiple people snapping cell phone pics of the park cats. Katy and I recently did a long walk together in Fuxing Park and Katy counted over a dozen cats in a single lap. I suspect there are upwards of two or three dozen cats in the park total: orange cats, black cats, white cats, tabbied cats, and even a few very young cats who presumably were born in the park. We think some cats were pets that got abandoned, but for whatever reason these homeless cats seem to be quite tolerated by the city. Dogs aren't allowed in the park and I suspect it may be out of respect for the cats that make their homes there. The people who come to feed the cats on a regular basis are the most interesting subset of Shanghaiese I have encountered. Old and young, wealthy and poor, male and female, a true cross-section of the city. They bring cat food, purchased at pet stores, and seem to have particular cats that they feed. They're not just feeding random cats, I watch them look for their cats, call to them, and shoo away other cats trying to steal THEIR cats' food. Pets are rare and expensive in Shanghai so I think having a cat that you care for, that lives in a park, is a compromise many Shanghaiese are happy to make.

Peace Out Shanghai

Shanghai has many beautiful parks, many charming sights, but also a number of regular spots that I have developed routines around. I never expected to develop any sense of home when I came here, but it's weird having that feeling as I leave. As I did my last 20 laps in the park today, visited Much Beer for the last time, and spent an hour talking to my favorite florist in the world, I never expected to start to miss a place that became a temporary home. I showed up to Shanghai jaded and comparing everything and everyone to New Yorkers, but I'm leaving feeling like I had some meaningful experiences and wondering if and when I might come back to Shanghai. If I do I suspect many aspects and qualities of the city will have changed (hopefully the air pollution will have improved), but also I suspect I will still be able to go to Fuxing park and watch local Shanghaiese feed the of cats, hopefully after an American IPA at Much Beer and a trip to Flower Talk.